“Some instinct warned me off. I was always wary of Dahmer. I was willing to hang out with him at school, but there was no way I was going to forge a closer friendship.”

I always wanted to become a psychologist. My first classes in senior year were about evilness, where my teacher initially wanted us to do presentations on serial killers and how they came to be. And yes, I did pick Dahmer for my presentation.

I did extensive research, more than necessary, and even after finishing my presentation the following week, the story of Dahmer still lingered in my thoughts, and I was fascinated.

Most serial killers, say Bundy, were evil geniuses. They all knew what they were doing was wrong, but what stood out to me was how calm and collected Dahmer seemed; he was willing to work with the authorities, and he admitted he did try to stop himself, as opposed to many other well known American serial killers.

I was not going to write this review, mostly because I have a lot of opinions on the story of Jeffrey Dahmer, not told from the book, and some unshared feelings both before and after reading this book. I was told to still write it though, so here goes nothing.

“He was the loneliest kid I’d ever met.”

My Friend Dahmer is a graphic novel and story based on the accounts of past experiences from the author himself, and friends of his, who went to school and were friends (kind of) with Dahmer.

A recollection of sorts, Backderf puts out his perspective and memories of Dahmer, the shy, odd, and lonely outcast, and how he became the murderer and ‘Milwaukee cannibal’ the rest of the world came to know him as. Most of the story takes place in Dahmer’s home where he grew up with his little brother and very, very angering parents, and his time spent as a student in Revere High School up until his graduation.

You should know that I am very honest in my reviews. Throughout reading this entire novel, I was more sad than angry, and more sympathetic than creeped out, but that does not mean I was not feeling the other emotions.

When we first heard about Dahmer in the media, you would expect a nasty cold-blooded murderer with absolutely no emotion or feelings whatsoever. And that is why we have the masterpiece that is Backderf’s story.

“It became the symbol of his wasted youth, his space blacked out. The boy who didn’t belong.”

They always say there are two sides to every story. This novel really gave me insight into Dahmer’s character development, and although no one was to blame, there were still people to blame.

Personally, I believe Dahmer was a coward, disgusting, and selfish. But he was also, partly, neglected by his parents, who were caught up in their own arguments and problems, never paying attention to their oldest son and his internal struggles that kept bubbling and boiling inside him.

Backderf mentions how his friendship with Dahmer and the hours they hung out must have been the happiest period in his [Dahmer] life. Dahmer was scared and horrified of being left alone, especially with the personal problems going on in his life, and on top of being ignored by his parents for their own struggles, they also neglected him altogether, not taking the time to consider how their actions would affect him emotionally and psychologically. I was saddened to hear how Dahmer was forced to find ways to cope with his problems, and he was scared to seek help, and how he spiralled into a living nightmare. His transition from shy outcast to cold creep was scary to read.

“I don’t know where it came from,” Jeff said years later. “I’ll probably never know.” “But I never dreamed it would become a reality.”

I gave this book 4 out of 5 stars, and I want to say I respect Backderf so much for spending years of his life trying to show people that Dahmer was not just a murderer, but he was a friend, a classmate, a brother, a son, that he was human, and he had a life just like everyone else. I felt so many emotions reading this story from a friend’s perspective. I was sad, I felt sorry, I was sympathetic; but I was angry, confused, disgusted too. To evoke so many emotions from a memoir. Wow. I want to say I know there are really nobody to blame for his actions but Dahmer himself, but hearing of his years growing up, it’s hard to say so.

All I gotta say is thank you, Backderf, for giving us the story he never could’ve told, and sharing the problems and thoughts he never dared to tell. I highly recommend giving this book a read if you are ever going to look up the actions of Dahmer or are somewhat fascinated by it, as there are always two sides to one story.